5 Essential Rules To Minimize The Effects Of Divorce On Children

Even the best of marriages can break down. Couples can drift apart and want different things from life. In some cases, one party cheats on the other, or they no longer feel compatible. Whatever the reason, and whether you’ve had counselling or not, you and your partner will have a sense that divorce is coming. 

That’s not generally the case for children. They suddenly find themselves facing divorcing parents. It can be overwhelming and research suggests it can cause behavioural problems in children. As a parent that’s the last thing you want. You should be committed to creating a nurturing environment for your children and giving them the very best start in life. 

That’s why you need the following 5 essential rules to minimize the effects of divorce on children. 

1. Get Help 

When a marriage starts to break down most couples will try to work things out and will endeavour to keep the problems out of sight of children. There is no reason for that to change when facing a divorce. 

The first thing both parties need to do is get a good divorce lawyer Sydney. This will allow you to separate the divorce and related financial implications from home. 

This may sound strange, and if you’re still living together it can make it a little strained at home. But, approaching it this way reduces the stress on children. It also encourages you to see the divorce as a division of assets. This makes it easier to complete fairly and maintain reasonable communication. That’s essential for your children’s sake.

You’ll also be setting a good example to your children of how to behave in difficult situations. 

1. Talk To Your Children

As soon as you have decided that divorce is the only option you need to sit down with your children and explain it to them. Tell them why you are planning to divorce, how it is not the fault of your children, and that mummy and daddy will still love them and be there for them all the time. 

Most importantly, let them ask as many questions as they want and answer them honestly. Children can adapt much easier if they know what to expect. 

1. Keep Your Promises

If each parent promises to always attend their sports or other events, then you need to keep that promise. During a divorce children need continuity. This allows them to focus on what is important to them, growing and maturing as people and having fun.  

1. Make Sure Your Children Know Divorce Is Permanent

Children who harbour ideas that parents can get back together will find it difficult to move on. They may even try to create scenarios that force you back together.

It’s important that children know the divorce is permanent and nothing they can do will change that. It helps them move on and is a valuable life lesson. 

1. Keep The Same Boundaries

Divorce gives children the opportunity to pit parents against each other, especially if one parent lets them do more things than the other. You need to talk to your partner, or ex-partner, and make sure that the boundaries you had for your children pre-divorce remain the same after.